Find Your Voice Girl!

A few weeks ago, I had my first opportunity as a mother of a special needs son to step up and advocate in a childcare scenario. 

I started a Bible study group on January 8th. The main reason I chose this group was because they offered childcare! SCORE. I remember mentioning in an email to one of the childcare facilitators that Hudson has Down syndrome but did not think it was relevant to mention that he was a non-walker. 

The morning of my first time attending this bible study went smoothly. Hudson has struggled with separation anxiety but it improved over the holidays with family in town. I wasn’t worried! 

I dropped him off at the toddler room and went to my study. After, I went back to pick up Hudson…but he wasn’t there…he was in the infant room. The director informed me that because he was a non-walker, they moved him there for safety reasons. Which I get – I don’t want my child to get trampled by other kids. But I went on to explain that Hudson has Down syndrome and may not walk for quite some time (the range is 1-4 years). But just because he isn’t as mobile as the typical kids does not mean that he should miss out on the story time, music class, and lessons that his peers were receiving. 

I felt the stinging burn of a world that does not understand my son’s diagnosis. My heart ached as I realized this was my first lesson in advocating for inclusion for Hudson…while also swallowing the fact that this might be my first of many conversations like this over Hudson’s lifetime. The director was kind and understanding – she and I discussed an option of having someone move Hudson between the toddler and infant room as needed (eg when kids were too rambunctious). I agreed as long as he was getting exposed to the same activities as his peers. Compromise! 

This story has a happy ending as we went back today for our second time to bible study. We missed the last 2 weeks with Hudson’s surgery and recovery. It was nice to be welcomed back and to be on the same page as the children’s ministry director. 3 weeks ago, she saw the sadness in my eyes and understood my desire for Hudson to have the same opportunities as all other kids his age. She greeted us at the door and took Hudson to the toddler room where he learned about Jesus and becoming fishers of men. 

I checked on him in the middle of bible study and he was still crying…more of a sad “I miss my mommy” cry than “World is ending” cry. Eventually they did move him to the infant room where it was more quiet and soothing for him. My hope is that Hudson will adapt to being away from me for a few hours every Tuesday morning and will embrace and love his time in the toddler room. While I had a lot of anxiety about returning, God showed me that I can educate others, have the ‘tough’ conversations, and advocate for my child in a loving, compassionate way – one that results in Hudson being included. 

To the mom who is afraid to speak up and advocate for her child (whatever the scenario may be), search your heart. Pull deep to find that strength and courage. Because it is there!! You have to believe it is and it will pour out of you when you need it. Push through the uncomfortable conversations with love and compassion. Difficult situations can mold and grow all of us. You are your child’s best advocate and even if the situation doesn’t have a happy ending, you did the right thing by speaking your truth! Be brave mama. Believe in your light and love. You got this! I know you do.

Hollyce